There should be another word that means similar to deja vu to describe certain moments in our life that I just don't know how to put them in words. Many things happen in such a short lifetime, I wish I could describe them more elaborately beyond my ability. That is probably why I find myself sitting in front of the ocean to do the job for me and let it bring the answers to the questions that I find myself asking when I'm sitting on the shuttle to go home after school, gazing out the window with no words going through my mind.

Every time it rains heavily like today, I always turn back to xanga and start to write about what comes up to my mind.

My roommate mentioned how "old" we are now. We aren't wrinkly or getting osteoporosis but we are getting older. You start to hear good news like a friend getting married, a friend becoming an aunt or an uncle, or a friend relocating for a job. There is many sad components to growing up but you'll realize that they're not so important. I have a purpose and a goal to live for. It is frustrating at times trying to figure out what that is that I'm looking for. Luckily, the one factor people dread the most actually helps me find what the solutions are to all the difficulties in my life: Time. I find this weird connection to Time. I always write about Time. I always think of Time in a philosophical way.

A wise person is patient with time and establishes harmony with time. That does not mean laziness or slacking off. I mean that everything happens at the right time for a reason. There is no way you can fight against time and stand on that space for even a second. Even the weird quantum physics can't prove that you can stop time.

Time teaches everyone a valuable lesson. Someone told me that you never realize how much you enjoy what you were doing until later when you look back in time. The older you get, you realize how precious your childhood is and how much you learned from all the mistakes you've encountered. What you also learn from those mistakes is not to make the same mistakes. What makes you stronger in life, emotionally and physically, is learning from Time. It builds you up into a person who is ready to face the next challenge in your life. If you don't learn, time gives you more opportunity to learn it.

Someone told me that you learn not to regret as you live in this lifetime. You have never done anything that you regret. I asked, "how do you know?" When you look back in time, you know all the decisions you have made are the right decisions. That is how you got to this point in life and you are content. If you are not content, you can always make another decision and make your life happier. The only thing you will regret in life is doing something that will kill you. Time will stop and you will never have another chance to do what you want to do in life.

Am I making sense?

I just want to point out that you may think you got all the time in your hand, but life is very short. Even if you have no solid goal in life, go outside and look for something meaningful to do. You'll find how beautiful life can be and you'll find so many reasons why you have come here to live in this world. Sometimes, you'll be overwhelmed with all the things you want to do in life (that's where I am) and realize that there is not enough time for all your ambitious dreams to come true.

Goodluck.